when it comes right down to it......

Today I felt like I went home for a visit when my former Pastor Burt got up there to speak to us today. Sure felt good. He had some good things to say that I really went away with in deep thought.

 He told about his earthly father and the months leading up to his going to glory. And what he walked away with months later, as he was reflecting, makes me today, beings it is Father's day, think about with  my own dad.

 He told a story that after his father's passing that he carried a pocket knife, of his father's that ended up getting crunched as he went thru security at the airport. He realized that that knife had symbolized some things in his life that he was holding onto about his father good or bad that he needed to crunch right along with that knife. He needed to let go of some things about his father that he was holding onto that was invading his life in a negative way.

I think we all have this to deal with in not just our father's but others as well. I look at my dad and the things he has endured in his life time. The up's and the down's, and as my mother would remind me, I really will never know.. In some ways it has hardened his heart but in other ways his heart is so tender. The thing that makes his heart 'tender' is Jesus. Like all of us, no matter what our shortcomings when it comes right down to it my dad will tell you Jesus is the reason to live.

Pastor Burt shared that his dad wasn't saved until very late in life when his own son, as in Burt, led him to the Lord. He shared that up until that point he never received any affection from his father, until he was saved and then he couldn't stop hugging his son.

There is a tenderness that comes to one that has received the Lord that you cannot see until you realize that the only captive audience you want attention from is Jesus, your Father in heaven, He is what matters. And the way that this comes out is how you treat others.

My father doesn't pray without tears, he has tenderness in him. He always offers up a big hug and kiss, I'm grateful.

His edges are rough at times in the way he says things, those are the 'pocket knife' times to let that go and let it be crunched for me.

He imparts wisdom ......as he was giving Layton advice with much emotion shared because my dad has lived on both sides,"you will have trouble in your heart if you don't follow the Lord and live for HIM."

Pastor Burt also shared that in his father's last minutes on earth, in all  the last bit of strength he had he lifted up his arm, motioned for Burt to come near, grabbed onto his shirt like he meant it, with all the strength he could muster up and said he was done fighting. Pastor Burt gave him a kiss and he was gone.

My dad, he too is a fighter, he works hard, and will never show a weakened state as long as he has breath on this earth. He, many times, likes to show that to his grandsons. (smile) I think he still has all the boys beat.

And the last bit of Pastor Burt's talk to us today he said, "when it is your time to die, then be ready to just do that. No regrets, no last minutes on what you need to say to someone, live each day in the thought if I went today I said all there was to say."

Today? I just  got off the phone with my dad to wish him a Happy Father's day. And I told him, as I always do, that I loved him. But in my heart, I meant it just that much more deeper today. I think I have let some of those 'pocket knife' moments go and it freed me up to love even that much more.

Happy Father's day!

week spent with Sister and chicks.

A week spent with Sister Tawyna and her chicks. She is from Texas so we rarely get to see their faces. We had fun just doing life together. I do regret not getting the camera out just a bit more. After the week of nonstop picture taking I guess I was burnt out. No excuse, I wish I would have.

 Some of my favorite things:

 Just hangin'

 Singing with the girls.  Myla and Jena were belting out, "This girl is on fire!" with Alicia Keys. Dancin'? We were moving.....

 Kissing Levi's belly. I'd start licking my lips and he would pull his shirt up for me to attack his belly button with my lips.


 We went on a hike together

 


Watching Kysa with  my boys. We sure do love this sweet thing. She is just easy and always has such a pleasant attitude.

The kids interacting, here they caught a baby crab and Levi was sooooooo excited!

Rain, yes we endured the rain.....

And, sisterly love, when you have a sister you know that you can just 'be'. No show, it's easy, if your kids act up then you know your'e not being judged, you know they love your kids like you do and I love them like they are my own, all because we are sisters.

It was time well spent, I loved it!

 I think the very end when I said good bye it was the highlight for me...... (I was headed to a function at the school) I had said my goodbyes, we sang with Alicia, I kissed Levi's belly button, gave Kysa and sister a hug and as I was pulling out Kysa came running out, I rolled down my window and she came out just to give me one last big huge hug and kiss. It made me tear up. It was the sweetest gesture. She just made my heart swell right out of my chest.



  

support and love!

Layton was loved on by many who love him at the graduation party.

 I realize so many, no all, but many love my son because they love our family and are in support since he was just a babe and beforehand.

 Friendship and family, Layton needs these people in his life just as this family needs them too.

It started out with a little skyping from sister and family from Uganda. What a thrill, it was like having them here for just a moment, it was amazing! We sure missed touching them but it didn't feel like a complete void not having them here either. We missed  you sister!

Then, the partee began. This is sister, she flew in with her four chicks from Texas! Great time....



Layton's first grade teacher graced us with her presence. It was such a treat, she is a special lady in our life.
 

This girl of mine and her family, so supportive. Amy and I have had MANY talks about raising these kids, cried some tears, and laughed alot too.
 

This family, Alex only born a day apart. Leanne and I saw each other in the nursery at church but also kept seeing one another at Sears getting their milestone pictures taken. We decided we were fast friends the first date we had together. We have supported one another thru thick and thru thin. I think Layton knows that if he needed to call for some wise counsel, friend Alex, would be there even though different interests, schools, and such kept them from close contact. But support, yes!

Jeannie, one of the most giving of her self people we know. We love her and her family like they were are very own. She and Butch supported Layton with a generous scholarship  for school. Bless them!

Dear friends from Jim's childhood, we love them, I couldn't stop hugging on them when they were here. We don't get to see them much but when we do it is like we saw one another yesterday.

Shayna, very instrumental in cheering Layton on to get the SENIOR requirements made. Supportive girl friend that she has been. She was also part of the ceremony in the orchestra.


 

Look at this family, Layton voiced to me this morning that he really understands after this weekend how much he is loved by his family. He also got a call from Kole who is in the navy, and then Cousin Seth wrote a sweet note in support as well.

So many others that came as well in support of Layton. So grateful for allll who were there!
 

Of course MeMe and Poppa are number one fans of Layton. Always praying and in support, ALWAYS loving him with encouragement (loving me with encouragement as well, when feeling like I was in need, greatest parents, greatest grandparents a girl and boy could ask for. )



And then in the end when it all comes down to it, who is holding who up? Layton is loved, supported, prayed for, encouraged by so many. Brothers for sure! How much do I love this picture, I feel like I could go on and on and on and on and on.......I just could.

 

celebrating 12 years of accomplishment!

Thinking about, praying about, preparing, expecting, excited, nervous, anxious for months all balled up into one, for ONE day, a special day.....

Layton is a high school graduate!

As I reflect on this day that happened a couple of days ago, I feel like that all that I have been praying about for Layton and the frustrations the past few months have brought it seemed like the Lord gave me a kiss from heaven by making me feel that Layton has grown and is growing into a real man. All in one day, a smile was formed right back into my soul.

We had a barbecue for Layton and this is special makings from Bona herself. Yum!

At the barbecue we started it off with circle that was formed around Layton. People who love Layton and know him gave him a word of encouragement and talked about something of Layton's character. Then his dad said a prayer over him.

All who came had something to say to Layton that I hope he treasures in his heart forever.

Here is Amanda telling him that he has touched people with the Lord that He may not even realize He has touched.

More words from Poppa and MeMe, to Aunt's and Uncles, to Cousins, to family friends, friends, peers, brothers, young and old........

Arms raised in "CHAMP" form.....way to go Layton, proud of you.....

More to come on this subject stay tuned.

Layton is '18', whew!

I woke up this morning thinking about eighteen years ago my life was changed forever.

 To lay eyes on that new bundle of 6 lb. 13oz. of fresh yummy pink skin, my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

 Then I laid there and prayed that the Lord would guide his steps, to bring him unto Himself, that the only thing in his new phase of life would be directed towards what the Lord wills for his life.

 Then I got up and began to think about what it would be that he would want for breakfast.

 

I have senioritis

After reading a blog post recently it gave me permission to write this post. Honesty is the best policy right? It may make me sound like a real whiner but at this point I suppose I will take the chance.

I am not cut out for the 'end of the school year' for anything. I don't like it, it is not my thing. I am ALWAYS telling my kids, 'FINISH STRONG!" yah, yah, blah!

I HAVE SENIORITIS!

Jordan poor Jordan, a few mornings ago when getting him ready for school he had not one pair of pants that didn't have a hole, they are all hand me downs so they are WAY out of date, too short, the poor kid looks like a rag bag and I yelled at him as if he did something wrong. He has not complained even one time, after apologizing and sending him off to school it felt so good to go to a normal store and buy him some new clothes and BLESS his little grateful self with them when he got home. No guilt for spending that money, let me tell you that.

Tomorrow I have no salon work, it's suppose to be a nice day so I planned on working on the outside til I died. I'm feeling a little under the gun with the whole graduation day coming upon us an all. I got an automated phone message from the school reminding parents to be at the school tomorrow for our kids history project presentation. I instantly got all hot thinking, "I had no idea about a history lesson, where have I been?" I asked about it and he said they have been working on them in class. Ok, whew.....yes, I will be there for the presentation but do you care if I come with out a shower, sweats with holes and grass stains, no make up and hair in a bun? I DON'T HAVE THE TIME RIGHT NOW!

Oh, listen to this 'Mother of the year moment'. Jordan has had, from the beginning of the year, homework due on Wednesday. They have a whole week to complete it and always due on Wednesday. Got the sad face coming home on Wednesday after school, "I didn't get my Pizza Hut certificate because I didn't get my homework in today." What? You had homework due today? It's not like they changed the name of Wednesday this week. Jordan with all of his grace just looked at me and shook his head.

Oh, the subject of Layton.....I have senioritis, I am DONE with all of this business. Finished FANITO! Layton has not attended many school functions he just isn't that into it. He's a good student, just not involved. His girl friend was over looking all cute and walking out the door of the house when I asked her where she was off to. She told me the Honor Society induction. I said, "OHHHHHHH good for you! Why aren't you going Layton?" He tells me Shayna can pick it up for him. I felt robbed of seeing a pretty fantastic moment. Breath, the big picture, big deal. She showed his certificate off on Facebook that way sister could see his accomplishment~ha!

I feel like I am constantly going, "what? When? I missed that? I didn't know!" And then this blank look back at me like I'm going crazy. I think I am!

So many due dates, constantly reminding , nagging, pushing, and as he has done thru all his school years, gets it all done by the hair of his chinny chin chin. And I get the 'ole, "what are you freaking out about?"

Layton one minute wants to sit and talk and when this happens it is a rare occasion so you better shut up and listen without any expression at all. If he says, (after much planning) "I don't know what I want to do after school"......DO NOT REACT, STAY CALM, NO EXPRESSION, just listen. It's but a fleeting moment and then it will alllllllll be normal again for a minute.

Breath Momma, BREATH!!!!! I don't think, at this point my report card is looking too good. I am ready for school to be done. I have senioritis.

highs and lows....

My girl friend posted this weekend and it was called "Highlights and Lowlights" Which cracked me up because with me it was literal with hair and then life as it was this last week. So, I thought I'd copy....

 Lowlight: I felt some major attack this last week, overcoming fear, feeling a bit like I don't really matter, my mothering is not working, being a wife I should be...a struggle, on and on....

Highlight: The Lord redeems, He built me up, showed me He loves me, showed me my fear was an attack and I must fight, husband taking some of the burden off that I was feeling, I make mistakes but the Lord has trust in me that  is why He gave to me my babes.

We went to the beach with just the two darlings for an overnight. It was restful and some good quality time with all.


.
We went clam digging. I got a kick out out the boys getting them. They got their limit and we headed back for Jim to have to clean them all....it was a JOB! Then I fried them up and they gobbled them up in a matter of minutes.

lowlight: My cousin's granny passed away. I knew they were hurting. And then a call from Jim's mom that his Aunt Bev had passed away. It was certainly a 'Memorial Day' weekend for many with so close hurting along with Jim who loved his Aunt.

 highlight: I got to do hair for six beautiful girls at my girl friends daughters wedding.

I didn't get any pictures of her when we were doing hair, but I did of her Momma and her brides maids. Austin was a gorgeous bride.

Amy's hair.


 
lovely don't you think?

Beautiful girls....

To say that this last week was full of  all kinds of highs and lows would be putting it out there right.